My Big, Fat History (Bryn)

Posted by Bryn Thursday, 3 June 2010
I typed this up two days ago, but have just got around to posting.  I'll do better, I promise!

Well, here I am, ready to join my cyber buddies.  Ready to get skinny!  Read to get fit and healthy!

History:  I've been fat for a long time now.  Too long.  I was always a regular sized girl, but with most of the women in my family being extremely overweight, I knew the skinny scale wasn't tipped in my favor. 
I had my first baby when I was still pretty young, and as young, fabulous bodies do, mine popped right back to pre-baby size almost immediately!  Why are skinny and sleep wasted on the young?  7 years, another kid and a crap marriage later, I found myself quite....fluffy. 

I ended that marriage (and now I've learned the hard way that karma is a bi-otch) and found myself quickly approaching the big 3-0, single and fat.  Enter a miracle:  Metabolife.  Seriously that stuff was soooooo awesome.  I lost 50lbs with nearly no effort.  I looked and felt FABULOUS!  At one point I was a size 4.  FOUR!!!!  The last time I was a four, I was a freshman in high school!!!!!  Someone even told me I was getting a little bit too skinny!  Then, the stupid, freakin' FDA banned my miracle.  I was crushed.  Did people actually expect me to stay skinny with proper nutrition and excercise?  Seriously? 

7 years, another kid and ANOTHER crap marriage later, I found myself....fat.  And not just fat, OBESE!  Muddled through the next 3 years, too miserable to care about much anything, let alone my ballooning weight.  And now, here I am, AGAIN.  Quickly approaching the big 4-0, single and even FATTER!

In the last 7 months, I've lost 30 lbs through sheer misery.  My broken heart killed any hint of appetite I had (I never, ever thought I'd be the kind of girl who couldn't eat.  I LOVE FOOD!  I guess I'd just never experienced that kind of brokeness before).

That brings us to today.  My heart is mending, very slowly, and my appetite has returned.  But I can't just let that 30lb loss go to waste.  Finding myself starting a new life pushing 40 was definitely a wake up call.  If I continue this lifestyle of garbage eating and sloth-like laziness, I won't have another 40 years.  Probably not even another 30.  My life could actually be more than half over right this minute.  And that scares the crap out of me.  I want to get healthy, I want to live another 40 years, and this time, I'm going to ROCK IT!!!!

I do have some obstacles towards the healthy eating.  Well, one obstacle.  I HATE healthy food.  I despise ALL vegetables, except corn, which of course has absolutely no nutrional value.  I don't care for any fruits except bananas and mikans.  I can choke down grapes, and occassionally strawberries or apples.  But, ewwwww.  I also drink NO water.  As in NONE.  Not one bottle.  Not one, single ounce.  Ever.  So my goals are geared towards changing that.  I've gotten some nice vitamins and calcium supplements that I plan to take everyday (Goal # 1), I want to eat at least two pieces of fruit everyday (Goal #2) and drink at least 2 20oz bottles of water a day (that's a loooooong way from the recommended 80oz/day, but I know if there's going to be any hope of me really doing this, turning this healthy thing into a *lifestyle* I've got to take baby steps)

I cannot do the whole "diet" thing.  I have no will power, zero self control, and if I feel deprived, I know I'll spend more time UNDER the wagon than on it.  So my aim is moderation, still enjoying the foods I love, but doing so sensibly, and balancing it with a bit more of the healthy stuff.

Current stats:

Height: 5'5"
Weight:  187.5 lbs (that's what I weighed on June 1)
BMI:  31.2 (Obese!  But I already knew that)
Ultimate goal: 150 lbs (looking and feeling fit and trim, with tons more energy and way better skin)

So here we go!  Ganbatte GW and Rachel, and anyone who may be joining us from lurky-dom)

1 Responses to My Big, Fat History (Bryn)

  1. Rachel Says:
  2. Bryn, Hi and Welcome and Good Luck!

    Girl, you gotta quit the 'I can't' and start practicing 'I CAN!'

    The first two times I lost weight I didn't eat anything special, just really moderated the portions.

    Have you tried Japanese-style veges? They really load the flavors on. How about chilli flavors or vinegars?